Navigating A Cancer Diagnoses the Only Way I Know How: A Personal Journey Update

Navigating a cancer diagnosis can be one of the most challenging journeys a person may face in their lifetime. It is a rollercoaster of emotions that can become very overwhelming at times. I thought I understood it or had a grasp of it since cancer has affected my family so much, but boy was I wrong. Not until it hits you personally, that you truly understand it.

Since I was diagnosed on June 28th the best way I can put my feelings into words is by saying "I feel like a ticking time bomb". Not that my life is over because we know it ain't, but for the simple fact that I feel like I'm in a state of "I want to do EVERYTHING I can before the bomb goes off". Bomb, being treatment starting... You see I'm a planner. Always have been. I got tons of calendars to keep the kids, Austin and my schedules. Nothing about this diagnosis was planned. It was not on my calendar. It was on God's calendar but not mine. I had so many activities and little trips / outings planned for this summer that I wanted to come to fruition. Things I took sooo for granted that now I'm just like "I want to go to the pool 1 more time, get my nails / pedicure done 1 more time, eat at my favorite spicy Mexican restaurant 1 more time while it taste good to me." It's just ALOT of emotions and when I say ALOT I mean ALOT. One minute I want to cry, the next I want to scream and then the next I'm like "Let's get this over with already". I fully believe the Lord has our life planned out because so many things have lined up to show me that God's got his hand all in this. Austin and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage this September. Normally September is a busy month for us so we started talking about taking a trip, early just the two of us back in May. We have never gone off far since we have had the kids. I have been begging Austin to let's go on a cruise for years. He finally caved this year and told me to push the button. We planned it during a week the twins would be away at camp so Laney bug would be the only one that would have to be cared for. It's been booked for a few months. What's the odds that all this happened right before our trip and everything aligned for treatment to start as soon as I return. What a way to check something off our bucket list, refresh and come back ready to fight!! God new I would need a break away before all this started, I know his hand has been all in it from the start.

As far as an update, the plan is that: I will start Chemotherapy on August 2nd. One of the drugs I will be getting is called the "red devil drug". The first 8 weeks are going to be pretty tough. The plan is to get me through that, have 2 weeks off and then follow up with another 12 weeks of a different chemo drug weekly. This drug is not supposed to be as bad and hopefully it will go by quick. Following chemo, there will be surgery and then radiation. I got a long road ahead but I know I got someone right beside me holding my hand along with many family members and friends.

Today's prayer request: Pray for a safe trip, coming up for Austin and I where we can mentally relax and prepare for what is to come. Pray that the regimen they have chosen for me is the perfect one to attack this diagnosis and that my body will adjust well to it. Pray for the surgery to go smooth for the port as well. Pray for my family and caregivers as we all navigate new schedules and responsibilities. Most of all pray for my babies to have comfort in knowing their mommy is going to be ok and that their life can stay as normal as possible.

Last but not least, pray that I can continue to put 1 foot in front of the other, taking it a day at the time because this is just a season and this to shall pass.

THIS IS MY CANCER SEASON!!